Time does heal all wounds

I can talk about it now.

This August, my wife and I got pregnant, or so I thought. Basically, her body thought she was pregnant, but there was no heartbeat or fetal pole — an empty eggshell, if you will. I prayed fervently that this would end naturally.

It didn’t.

I’ll spare you the details, but it ended with an operation and a lot of tears.

Why in the world am I sharing something so personal?

Because someone did it for us. The more we shared about our miscarriage experiences, we kept hearing “I had one too” from people we never would have expected had miscarried. The one commonality among all the couples — they had successful pregnancies afterward. One of them was a relative I never met face-to-face, and if he had not shared his experiences, I would not be able to talk about it now.

Side note: be kind and stop asking couples about when they are going to conceive. They might be trying and failing or they could have had a miscarriage and can’t talk about it yet without bursting into a crying fit.

According to babycenter.com, ten to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, or “spontaneous abortion,” and eighty percent of them happen within the first trimester (first twelve weeks). Odds are, you know at least one woman who has had a miscarriage, but she just does not talk about it.

Recently, someone I care about lost a child. She talked about it, and I knew what I had to do.

I told her she would not forget her daughter, but it would get easier in time. It did not mean she could not ever have children. And if she needed to talk, I was here.

You don’t go through things just for you — someone else may need to know your story to heal.

This is mine.

Brian Thompson’s passion is motivating and encouraging others to write and to pursue Do-It-Yourself publishing. He is also author of acclaimed Christian fiction thrillers The Lost Testament, and The Revelation Gate. You can read more about Brian by visiting his author site.

3 thoughts on “Time does heal all wounds

  1. Thanks for your openness Brian. JLB & I miscarried in 2007. We miscarried THEN had a positive home test and thought we were. It wasn’t until after we told family (that we were) that we found out that we were no longer pregnant. Still sad to remember. But we followed it up by quickly getting pregnant with Londyn…and now 3.5 years later Lihana is here!

    Trying to “rush” someone into having a baby is crazy. It is something that in reality we have very little control over.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I went through 4 miscarriages before I finally was able to keep a pregnancy and had my first child. I have always believed that by talking about the miscarriages that it helped me and my husband get through the pain.

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